Portraits From Words: II- The Doctorate

Portraits From Words

II- The doctorate.

دى بتريح الزبون...

I have known the doctorate since we were high school girls with unfolded ties, short skirts, dark manicure, coloured Chupa Chups and the whole package. It is pretty random how we met, for I was sitting in a lonely armchair, bored to death and was humming some Beatles tune, when she joined in. We moved from Beatles to Eminem to Metallica when she asked about my name. Boring school days passed by and we got to know each other more, getting to know details about daily activities, families, issues – you can use the word “friends”, yes. And this has lasted for several years, for me to witness the amount of darkness that can be disguised behind a white medical coat.

There are two uniform things that didn’t change about the doctorate ever since; the first is that she always forced people to sympathize with her without giving them a solid reason to feel sympathy for. For some reason, she always felt that she is the world’s center of unfairness and misery. I have put great efforts to get into her darkness – let’s not forget about my magnet – and I succeeded. Her darkness is justifiable with what she has witnessed yes, but the unique thing about her, is that she never exerted any effort to get over it – she absolutely liked where she stood, a headquarters for sympathy.

The second habit of hers is that she loves to “teraya7 el zeboon”. The doctorate with all her prestigious education and her seven years old medical certificate never has her own opinions. She is well aware of the pathetic human nature, and how humans get attracted to those who agree with them, not who argue with them – and she has always been so witty to agree with people, regardless of what they were saying. But that technique was more like Chinese food – spicy and delicious, yet makes you get hungry in no time. She is jaguar-fast in making best friends, yes… but even faster in making enemies. Yet, there is a villain inside her that works around the clock and absolutely fires back at anybody who shows their teeth at her – and in no time, her white coat will be covered with their shredded flesh and blood. However, she is fastest at cleaning herself up and adding back an angel halo that fits with the whiteness of her new coat.

The doctorate is not an ill-mannered person. She is always there around her best friends if she has nothing better to do or when she is single. She likes to befriend social keys that lead her to pools full of fish so that she can practice her witty fishing techniques. When the doctorate is done fishing, she will go away with her caught fish, for as long as it takes to consume the fish tricks and would then throw it all away. A “social climber” may not be the exact term… but it says a lot, for she has no hesitance to turn against those closest to her for better fishing chances.

If you ask me, I will not know where the doctorate is now. She is probably walking her dog, cooking vegetarian food, listening to French love talk on the phone or sipping on a bottle of Egyptian red wine that is hidden under her bed. In all cases, I hope the doctorate finds some light.