Song of the Day

Last Flowers - Radiohead.

Friday, February 27, 2009

The place we can be alone.

It’s bloody simple really. Never own a wardrobe nor a fancy big mirror in your house and you`ll never have trouble. Don`t spend any money on hanging posters on the four-walled white room and do not… I repeat, DO NOT… hang your clothes properly after you come back dead and tired after a long day. It can be a lot easier, if you stop thinking about owning a dog or a cat or an endangered family of Queen Alexandra’s Birdwing Butterfly… and of course, don`t even consider plants. Always remember that things that run on electricity are better than those which need fire, and those that only need your hands are even better. Don`t cook a meal you don`t want to wash the utensils for. Don`t cook at all, I mean, what`s really better than food that you bring from a third party that only needs you to throw away some bags and cartoon paper after you`re done – kindly forget about the associated environmental guilt. Remember that every few months; you will be invited to a place with full fridges and some fancy almond-fudge-and-rosemary-hinted dip for your movie crackers… never get comfortable. Don’t feel uncertain about inviting people over, only if they don`t come from a full-fridge background – and trust me, most people do. On second thought, invite whoever. Do not envy them. Do not whine. Do not compare.

Kindly note that clothes are recyclable – as you buy new ones, remember you did so because there are old ones that you do not need – and there is someone who does whom you can give them to and can gain you extra points on whatever religious/moral schema you`re following. This makes you pack a lighter bag. This makes you move easier and faster. Do not own a bar, only a bottle or two if you need cocktail them together – I mean, how would you feel if you threw away most of them, or even worse if you had to carry them? However, never make your place void of wine. Red Wine. Dark clothes. A lot of dark clothes. Bleak colors, which match anything and everything. Remember that fashion does not determine which clothes to wear, but rather how tolerable and match-able they are – what good will an orange brown-polka-dotted chiffon scarf do you if you need to wash it every time you wear it?

Friends are recyclable too. Friends are determined by a few dimensions – space, time and money. Don`t get over too intimate with people, because if you lack one of the previously mentioned elements, this intimacy will not be maintained. Thus, don`t feel bad about it and don`t re-evaluate your metrics and standards of whom you should trust or whom you shouldn`t. Everyone is a passer-by and it`s never proven otherwise.

Remember that you are in a position that everyone else wants to be in but they can`t. Think that way. Think that way with a lot of Nutella and the previously mentioned red wine. Whatever you think, just never feel home.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Adagio For Time.

"Dear Mother: I have written to tell you my worrying secret. Now don’t cry when you read it because it is neither yours nor my fault. I suppose I will have to tell it now, without any nonsense. To begin with I was not meant to be an athlete. I was meant to be a composer, and will be I’m sure. I’ll ask you one more thing — Don’t ask me to try to forget this unpleasant thing and go play football. —Please—Sometimes I’ve been worrying about this so much that it makes me mad (not very)."

Samuel Barber - (March 9, 1910 – January 23, 1981)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Hell is not hot.


Save all your efforts. It makes me feel more paralyzed seeing you squirm in front of my eyes, trying and failing and repeating. Everything I fake, I fake it for you. I don`t mind doing it, but I mind you believing it. It makes me feel as if I am acting – which I probably am doing, but I don`t feel it till I am believed. Kindly lie down next to me, let`s watch the stars and hear each other breathe. Let`s pretend we are interested in what we tell each other, it`s ok – we can nod too. I`ll lend you one of my speakers and I`ll let you think now you know what I am all about. Let me lie to you and tell you how I`ve never met anybody who makes me feel like you do. I can linger on about how my life was in its particular normal time frame before you came. Please don`t ask me if I ever smile though, I haven`t memorized those lines yet. Forgive me if I pause for a few seconds before I return your emotional revealing, sometimes I just need to – recollect. I am only here because I have nowhere else to go. You can do all you wish, I am the puppet in your realm that shall not object. But whatever you do, kindly only believe me when I reveal that… I am as ugly as I seem.